i think im gonna close my blog. or..not close i think ...just leave it there.

so...dun have to come back and see if i have updated...suddenly feel that there is no need to disclose my tots and feelings when i dunnoe wats gg on over all of ur world.

gonna have a private blog rather than a 'public' one.

4.27p.m.-27th July 06-

---

suddenly so many sad news buzz around.

heard a story yesterday that made me cried.

Cancer can really be fatal and scary!

My uncle got it. and he is at his last stage of the cancer now. From what i noe, he was diagnosed with throat and brain cancer. He had an operation before and that operation was so costly! $60,000 + or so...but that didnt mean that his life was free on those cancer cells from then on. Unfortunately he fell down just 1 month after his operation. [skip some details].

If u have ever heard that when a sick person can have premonition when his life is gonna end...u would think in the way that my mum and her sisters would think. This saturday..it would be my cousin's 21st birthday. My uncle instructed my auntie to withdraw $1000 from the bank for him. My auntie reluctantly did so. Hmm..this was the part that made me cried.. He gave the $1000 as a birthday gift to my cousin..he told her...this would be the last time that im giving u a present. Its so sad.

I still cant imagine how blood splatter out of his neck..[cancer cells were too powerful ].

My auntie has little hopes for him to live on esp its the ghost fest now. But she would feel relieved on the other hand coz he is suffering too much now.


haix~
cherish life.!


4.37 p.m. -25th July 06-

---

hmm...quite long nv blog le.

relatively happier day today.

thanx to chan chan

haha

no any particular tots now.

i juz noe that there are many great people around me! Who nv abandon me.
even an unfamiliar frenster fren can aso give me lotsa support. haha

three cheers to these people..
xiang ling, pammie , my meimei, and ting rui~!
=)



strong
-11.20 p.m.-22nd July 06-

---

haix. suddenly i feel so frustrated. i think im tired. so i came here to take a break.

the principal reviewed our mid year CT results today, then i realised our whole cohort did terribly badly. it makes me so worried bout myself too.! wat has happened that made our results plunge all the way to the pit hole. I would disagree if they say that phy,econs n maths were hard. Its nt tat i think its easy but its nt a killer-paper yet. To some extent, i think the killer paper would really come during the prelims! wat will happen then?


while worrying about my own results..my domestic affairs frustrates me too!
WHy would a man be such a spendthrift in his 50's! argh!

mom jus complained to me that dad just borrowed $100 from her this morning and he has aldy finished it now! i just cant imagine when he spend all these money on. Definitely its not on us! because....he always use us as an excuse..."POCKET MONEY!" but thats not true! We gt a reduction in pocket money this year and and and.... HE DID NOT GIVE US POCKET MONEY FOR YESTER AND TODAY!...so there is definitely no excuse to push all the fault to us.

i guess its all the gambling!....4-D..lottery!.
i curse these gambling GAMES! games where the probability of winning is like...0..
argh...im so angry with this man!

i sympathise with mum once again! imagine u just received ur salary..and before u need to buy cooking iingredients, order gas, own meals, etc...ur salary is already borrowed in large proportion relative to the income! i wun be able to accept that. i guess mum cant really take it for long too! because..she told me if she really cannt take it....she wld commit suicide during the midnite when everyone is sleeping! i told her not to anyhow think.

but seriously, i hate it when ppl resort to committing suicide when anything happens. No matter how bad the mishap or situation is...DYING MEANS NO CHANCE!...no chance to improve it, no chance to learn from it. DIe DIE DIE is always what the closest ppl around me will do or say!

PLEASE, i dont wanna hear people resorting to death again when people on the other side of the world like Tsunami and middle east crisis and fighting for their lives~

i come across that kind of tots before too, but i just tot that im a little silly! maybe, alot. So, i wun say or do this kind of things.

i have sooo many things in my mind to say.

yet...

i'll wait for the right time. and i will say

btw..im a little weird in sch these few days. It may last for 2 weeks or more.
so, my frens pardon me okae. *special note to pam pris* =D




koon - anxiety...
6.38p.m -18th July 06-

---

i couldnt be the one celebrating with you. SO i will send you as many wishes as possible b4 this special day passes! hOpe that this would get my msg across to you..come to think bout it..i have never celebrated ur bdae with you...rite? COZ we gt lost a few years ago and get 'patched' back like 2 years ago!

anyway...i hope that you are enjoying urself today okaes..happi bdae to my 开心果 ALWAYS! Stay cute like the above pic! =D

miss ya.

koonx

5.07 p.m. -17th July 06-

---

Went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean _the dead man chest on fri.
It is a show with a good mix. Humour, er xin,love and a little of a shockin scenes.
i even had a dream that im a pirate after that! Weird rite? haha


koonie was here on...
1250 p.m.- 16th July 06-

---

300 skippings! well, i dunnoe isit anything significant to u guys but i seriously din do such a large number of skippings b4 and i have completed it! My hands are feeling so soggy now! =D

anyway, i aint supposed to have any more pE...but i accompanied pammie! see! a great fren rite! =x....haha....noPes...coz..i could get some exercise as well...im nt that kind Lolx.

oh yea..i just realised that my fren and i had the same sentiments regarding a fren...LOL. felt so relieved coz it doesnt means that i am thinking evil or watever... anyway....i wun go into the details becoz..uh hmphs.


and and and!..i just realised that my mum is fantastic at planning...she told me how she plan for our university studies since we were young!...Sadly, it looks like i am the only one with the possibilty to get into an university among the 3 of us. Im amazed by my mum planning skills in terms of managing her finance!! [@.@] ONE of her strategies was to put her money into some investment in the bank which earns her a few thousand dollars after the end of certain years. that is like....she also calculated for the money to be ready for usage by 2007 which is the year that i should enter UNI!.

sigh..='[ life is hard now. Almost everyday, we have timed practice for every subjects, maths will come soon!... when i look at how all our teachers are working hard, i felt that i should work even harder!...because..its our own paper...esp poor ms ng..who has to mark...100+ * 3 essays every week. poor thing~!



koonie was here on...
6.25p.m. -13th July 06-

---

got back all my CT results yester.......GP results and physics are the most disappointing one...

i did so badly for gp...hais...so scared now.
i think i gt only 39 marks.

physics...mentioned b4.
maths still maintained my promos grade....but its a low A...only 71 %
econs...although im the highest in class...it is likely to be nowhere in sight in the whole level...gt a B...64%....6 more mks to my dear A!


my grades are all the same as promos except gp..
gt to work harder!!

PUSH PUSH PUSH!

delivering?

nope..
PUSHING





MYSELF




HARD!

=P


koonie was here on...
6.03 p.m-11th July 06-

---

quite a good gathering with ph,xl,nee,shan and... wayne? hahaha!


but it looks like everyone is so down. Am i right to say that?
probably not the guys. but out of four gals, 3 are down.

but everyone acts okae.

life is a stage.

a continous and tiring stage play.

its the most tiring stage play ever. it plays for a lifetime!


drunk with xl yester. her first time of drinking.
and xiao xiang..its pretty obvious that u drink becoz of sth!
i dunnoe how ur mind are thinking bout so many things.
but try to be happie okae.


i miss all my secondary sch frens. Im back to the normal koon with u guys.
as lame...as crazy...so gd..

but in sch..i feel as if im suffering from depression.
i cant be crazy in front of ajcians.
i dunnoe y.

but anyway...i gt a little tipsy last nite..=x. a little of a blurness after drinking.
i finally cried out a little.
but it would be better if i get DRUNK TOTALLY!.
u noe?

then there is no need for me to hold back any emotions. i can just let out my cries, my evil laughter, my evil scream.


im evil*


koonie was here on...
-10.42 a.m-8th July 06-

---

heartbroken today...

i got back my physics paper...today...the results were way way below my expectations...wanted to cry but i managed to hold it back..

the mugging process of one month is so hard to endure yet it brings no desirable results..
im so sad...

wanted to come home and have a gd cry but it looks like i didnt.

my skill of holding back tears is up one level.

haha.

continue to work hard! *i guess*

besides that, wat can i say?




sigh?


probably not.

but...if this happens for prelims too..probably..i will be in a state of depression by then...


koonie was here on...
5.36 p.m-7th July 06-

---

yesterday [a special day].









beautiful blue roses and sweetie box of chocolates...
LOVES...

arigatos!


koonie was here on..
5.32p.m- 7th July 06-

---

found this at a horoscope page, msn.

Take note of the difference this phrase makes in your everyday existence when you start to really apply it honestly to your own life. If you keep looking ahead to the future so that you can plan and organize, you lose the joy of living the now - the future of yesterday that you have worked so hard to create


this phrase strucks me totally in my mind and made me think!

dun worry so much for the future!
while i continue to work hard for my future..
i should enjoy wat i have did in the past.



anyway..pamMies. 2 words for you : thank yoU!

and thats it!


koOnie was here on...
-6.26 p.m- 5th July 06-

---

*pouts*

im having a headache now!

everything is different every day.
Having a partner means u have one more thing to worry. =(
despite my advices to ask him to accept this and that...me myself cant.

im so afraid that i wld become too materialistic just 2 or 3 years ltr, for there is too much uncertainty.

as i always believe...
A gal of a certain capability, acheivements and status should not match a guy below of her. If there is a need, not too far below.


i dunnoe how myself would think 2 yrs ltr.
all this are because..
2 yrs ago...true love is never wat i am soughting for.
its too surreal to be real.
haha.

just someone enough to care for me...and give me a comfortable stable life.
i dont ask for a luxury life and dun see that as a need because i was never from a rich family.
i came from an average-income family where some months of ours are so poor that dad has to resort to borrowing from our savings and mom had to skip her meals.


too many things to think. i feel like letting out cries after cries!
but i will think positively for now though the headache is getting worse.


i wish i would get drunk.




koOnie was here on...
-5.39 p.m-4th July 06-

---

my fun have to end. yups..this couple of days.the great fun i had, all thanx to somebody.=D.

i have so much work to clear now...the tot of the hectic life that is gonna roll on again...left me with no words but an expression...''haix''. but again...without the start of this term...the 'suffering' of A levels will never end. yups.
anyway...recenly i have learnt to be a happier person. i have learnt to take things in my stride. and to go back to a happy-go-lucky laykoon. I simply miss the days when i was in secondary sch. Every single day of mine was filled with fun fun fun and laughter laughter laugher! And the word ANGER wasnt in my dictionary either.

at that time...everything goes easy for me and i seldom and never get angry b4.
but these 2 years, temper becomes a new word. A word in my dictionary that i wish to void it. Its an unpleasant word!

BUt, just last saturday....some things happened and i was angry, disappointed, etc. All sorts of feelings. However in just one day, i realised, there is no point getting angry at things or someone because it makes urself miserable. Everybody noes this....no matter u are happy or not...a day passes.

i have decided to live happily.
anger brings misery.

haha...oh! got to go and revise my econs!....ther's gonna be an essay timed practice tml and i havent touched...muhahah!




koOnie was here on..
-8.53 p.m- 3rd July 06-

---

my room just gt a new paint! ah ha! llolx/ now i feel like gg to IKEA amd buy new curtains for my rm...and also...go buy a full-body mirror.....HMMMM...gals yea..LOL


but after reading pam's blog....i realise...i gt to start work n play lesser.....damn me..playing n playing. thats bad!

---

FRi: 30th May 06 :Fri

went to lasalle-sia in the morning with darlin. after which...we went to parkway for crystal jade.

diaos him. he brought me there without telling me..just gave me a hint....CLEAR GREEN. asked me to guess. and i only tot of sakae coz the logo is green. haha
anyway..thats my second time there..first time was with xiangling. winks. rmb xiao xiang? haha. pardon me..recently i like to call ppl..xiao sth..

i call my meimei..xiao cute cute! muahaha



the cool wall at lasalle..haha..the school is full of beautiful graffiti

.. even the floor....show you...

so cute..im stepping on a cuttie.=x

crystal jade's ha gau.

its bouncy shrimp in it...is....................BWG!

after lunch cum breakfast. we went for shopping..haha..my favourite still..llolx....but parkway is too small..so play pool is our next station! haha! so long i din play pool le... i must say this...finally yester i won WAYNE ER once! haha..... i had never win him based on my own ability before! haha....its either he give in some...or the black ball goes in...hahah....YAYYYYYYS! =P

its evening by the time our pool session ends...we went ECP again..to see the evening sky as i really really loves evening skies.......OMG!. and to see da stars at night!!!

in time in the evening...

byebye.

3.11 p.m.-1st July 06-

---

haha...my mid year ends offically on thurs!
no matter how da results are, i hope i wun be too sad because i had did my best!
my very best! hahax. i went out to play on thurs and yester! FULL DAY ACTIVITIES!!!

thurs: 29th June 06 :thurs

went to shop at far east for a while, then me and him headed for kbox at cIne!
it has been such a long time that i had been to K!. haha...will miss there in the months to come..
and all the while, i am taking lotsa pics again!...haha


i feel like being drunk these couple of days.





After Kbox, its dinner time at Lido. i had a tiramisu cake or sth!...YUm YUM




llolx..i take photo even when i walk!













tiramisu cake?...from pasta mania~






AFter dinner, its aldy 9+! haha..wayne wanted to bring me somewher and forced me to a bus.
its the new cathay complex near ps[dunnoe the mall's name].lolx. we went to watch SUPERMAN!!!....haha...its a nice nice show! I LIKE IT!. its quite sad though. BUT BUT....superman shoots electricity in ur eyes! haha. direct translation.=P

oh but while we wait for superman to start.. we went to ben and jerry to chill out. heex. the place is really cool!...the inside of the shop, with drums and piano. and conforable sofas and cushions all over the place. certainly u would feel homely!






ITS YUMMIE! with BIG cHUNKS OF WHITE AND DARK CHOCOLATE... CREAmy ice-cream...that so thick and tastY!





ITs nice means....BAGUS! haha














SWEeties~







byebye.

2.33 p.m -1st July 06-

---

uH hm...haha...ECP PICTURES WIF DA KIDS!







THE 'man' are at work.lolx














tadaX! our sandcastle for the day!




















ME AND NICOLINA...*is that how she spells her name?* hmm






yay!!...wink wink!









We are all fighting for the camera!










HERE WE ARE, while they are bathing!





And finally, its mySELF!

CAn you tell wat is this?? -KOON-

Nicolina with BIG BUBBLE! haha...

Valerica with BIG BUBBLE...

*hmm, they all have difficult names*

:Last photo for the day: me with a water
droplet!

---