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The process of Changing is always taking place, you should know its nothing new.

Whats new is THE CHANGE. Yes, we change in different ways each time we hit a new checkpoint. For better or for the worst. That is subjective. Ther's no absolute right or wrong. Just like i cannot understand how you people changed to become what you are today, not everyone can understand what creates the change in me and for sure, not everyone can come to a consensus that they like the change or say for sure, the change is good.

I cant understand their world. Neither could they understand my world. We're just different. We have to admit that. I'm exposed to much more kind of things than you guys, even though still an ultra narrow scope. I really hope to increase the exposure I can have, experiences to remember and skills to learn and master so what if its basic. And you cant expect one who is expose to more things as u grow to remain at the same state and not change. This wouldnt make sense then. Then it would render what you have gone through as probably...useless.

You cant expect me to behave in ways that u all think is fine. In the name of one FAMILY, it doesnt mean that i have to adopt ur dogma(s). The conservative, boring,unexplored, non-flexible, practical and most of the times illogical beliefs. Spare me from those UNLESS y0u can paint it off with a proper argument and not just give me a heading - 'CHANGE' and leave me off with finishing the argument myself. But being able to give me an argument aint a gd reason enough for me to follow. We cant change in the same way absolutely. In that case, we might as well have just one name. Thats one person, not three, not five.

I know im changing. At the age of 19, still learning and absorbing everything or as much as i can thats around me..i would be reluctant to remain unchange...I'll never hope that the change become stagnant. For all u know, a bad change may be appreciated by someone out there who shares the same sentiments.

Even if the change is really wrong, i'll learn from it. You can only really understand if it's wrong after u have tried and gone through it. For all you know, living by itself is already wrong. How would you know if something is really wrong? Its just like...how do you know that you are not dreaming now? Ur life..may just be a dream afterall. How do you know that you are not mad now? You could be considered as mad nw..in another world by another person. At the end of the day, nothing is labelled as a definite thing. All we have are opinions, maybe illusions. Illusions that lie at the bottom of the mind, deep inside. How sure are u..?

If you wanna convince that one has changed. Tell me 'in what way'. Dont throw the word 'change' to me and leave me to figure out on my own. Especially when I know ive changed but in what way its negative? Coz, to me ..they're not. Even if its is...its not negative to the extent that its morally wrong and must bear criticisms. And unless u're better than me to be in the right position to spot the 'wrong' change and criticise it, if not..hahas.



I would love to love my life now. Don't stain it.

I would still wanna say I love my family, my sisters but why do I feel that at the end of the day..its still urself. You can only depend on yourself, no one else. Probably not even family. Biological ties cant be dependable totally too. Anyone else can seem to understand but it's you who is feeling the sadness etc. When understanding without emotions is.........just understanding. But u're the one who's gg through it.



Once again, im laykoon. Not Peijin. Not Layyin.


My changes in ur world are disastrous.
Your(Their) beliefs in my world are illogical.

Labels: Bitter, Emo.., inner voices

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