Complexity in Simplicity

Thursday, May 29, 2008

.Formalities

All of a sudden, i wished that my world was dispensed with formalities.

Formalities include close adherance to so-called courtesy and respect that made expressions, words, attires and behavior so restricted to a certain category, way and style.

What's so true with all this socially-coerced characteristics?

How sincere can a simple 'Thank You' be?

How sincere is a 'Please', 'Kindly'?

Have these become part of the staple words that the society uses?

The one who doesnt use it is deemed to be a deviant of this realistic culture..

Who actually seriously give a thought to these words when they use it?

But it seems very clearly that for the society to function well and proper, it has to be so cold, to be lacking in genuine humane sincerity.... Where were the times when people really work together, establish real concrete relationships and give their appreciation geniunely and request a favour whole-heartedly?

Then it dawned on me that home is where im dispensed from the formalities. A very huge mercy for me. At home, nobody expects anybody to behave in a certain way. We are just like this. Some people think it's disrespect that we dont even greet each other when we reach home. But on my part, greeting feels sooo distant so much so that it imposes an informal 'superior-subordinate' barrier.

Rather, I appreciate more when we crap bout anything, ask simple questions like 'where did you go?!', 'how come u're so late today', 'eaten'? Chat with each other when we really feel like it. Laugh together and at each other. I suddenly recall the times when dad laughs geniunely and remarked on how cute our actions or expressions are.. (my sis and i). Times when you give them allowances....they smiled like they were happier than when they receive their own pay and say 'Thank you' with untainted sincerity that sometimes gives me goosebumps and i'll 'shoo' them off. Whatever it is, all these aint formailities and informalities seem more genuine.

Thinking bout my family, i got a kind of home-sick feeling now. I hardly seen my parents for more than like half an hour for the past few weeks. I'm occupied from Mon-Sun since i started working. Somehow or rather, i always wonder out after work...reach home semi-late, and see their souls glued to the tv. While I joined them in the watching sometimes..i still do my own things like bathing then online in my own room. The next thing i know is that everyone else is sleeping and the house is in pitch darkness.. Finally today im gonna head home straight after work..dropping my plans of recree or shop or workout on a Thurs.

And suddenly...

I miss the days when i saw Dad spreading the bread for us for us to eat the next morning.

I miss the days when I mischievously spend time at the corridor to tidy up the plants and cut off any stalk of the plant that im not happy with along with Dad. And like any other lazy kid, i throw those stalks that i've cut on the floor while the poor dad picks them up. Times when i shout for him when i discovered a catapillar. hahas.

I miss the days when I cooked with mum..like at least once or twice a week. I love to cook with her so much. Flip the vegs, stir fried the garlics, etc

I miss the days when I sat just outside the toilet watching mum doing the laundries..

I miss the days when we go shopping as a family..in a supermarket, etc.

I miss the days when the 3 sisters fought and argued, it felt so much closer then.

BUT? These were the scenes 10 years ago, or more..

Things you do when you were young.

The only existing and important: kinship.

* I know i sidetracked alot. But it's everything on my mind now.

The creations of growth

5:48 PM

Labels: Family, inner voices