Complexity in Simplicity

Friday, September 19, 2008

.My Weakest

22 SEPT 08

It takes a year or even less, the most two for one to find out what's your weakest subjects academically. It takes about that amount of time for one to know which areas are you generally weak on, paralysed..

But it takes half a lifetime, perhaps the whole of it with the right attitude and reflections to even identify your weakest weakest personality traits. Unlike things mentioned above, personality traits are not as avoidable. It's so inside you.

I'm beginning to see all these supposedly good traits of myself to be bad. Blind optimism, that's what i always hear from vampy, from one who's jaded in life. Am I suffering from that too? I always wished I didnt. I wished that good things, good people exist. It could sometimes make me feel like crying when I think of the sad things on this planet. Why can't people believe that good things exist? That people do out of good-will than for the benefit of self?

The society is intolerant of soft-heartedness. In a place where one bites another to get a piece of that something, a piece of that something... Soft-hearted creatures are a prey. It's such exploitative relations that made me so scared now. So scared of myself. When will soft-heartedness land me in trouble...again?

Neither can many people tolerate considerate souls. Thinking for others in their shoes too much is tiring but un-stoppable. Sometimes you just wished you could stop. Oh man, even for strangers...you do that? You're an idiot.

i remembered I did this test on facebook before:

WHAT MATURITY LEVEL ARE YOU?
Adult-Though you still make errors in judgment, you arrive at them after careful deliberation.
Description: You care about others as much as yourself, often putting them before you. Though this is still a transition period, and you are still learning about yourself, you possess a certain level of self-confidence and knowledge of yourself which helps you make it through whatever life throws at you. You are level-headed, preparing yourself for the future and whatever it may bring you. Others find you to be overall reliable and intelligent-someone they can come to in times of need.

Yes, and obviously putting others before myself is my weakest link.

So trusting that when people throw all things at you, when people 'convinced' you that they has nothing to lie to you...you believed. Because you believe good people exist. Because you are soft-hearted, when you see one's disappointment.

Of all these, the root problem is?..... Stupidity. Ash.k, you're out of this world's game.

Time to reflect and pray.

the loser makes the winner's day

10:41 PM

Labels: enraged, Myself, Reflections

doodled at Friday, September 19, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Shattered Trust

How can you ever be sure that your secret will be safe in someone elses hand? You put so much trust and ease into believing that they will guard it for you as promised.

Yet things just happen and it further proves my point that there's no one else besides myself. ..

No one to trust entirely like myself.
No one that i should rely on except myself.
No one to bear the responsibility except myself.
No one can understand except myself.

Another reminder that...in this world there's only me for myself.

speechless

1:39 AM

Labels: enraged

doodled at Sunday, May 11, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 2 Comments

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

THAT POP-UP

i still hate the way the system works. It doesnt gives you the time to be mentally prepared. It just shock you out of nowhere. Each time you type in ur userid and personalised password, you wonder..will i get a shock now? AT the moment! And then this damn screen pops out telling you that the grades are up. So many times ive got that shock and it can just spoil my day well w bad grades. sighs.

Worst still, papers are not really returned..you either don't know where you have gone wrong or..forgt where the hell u went wrong.

live with it

Labels: enraged, Uni-

doodled at Wednesday, October 17, 2007 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Saturday, August 11, 2007

CHANGES

The least expected thing came last night. It wasnt really a heavy load on my mind. But it still strucked me, for that few moments.

Overnight changes can just hit one person, the lifestyle, entertainment, words and thoughts.
The more that made me wonder if how another person who probably has hurt the other party changed him in a negative way, in my opinion. How can one do such a great damage on the other party.

The power of one changing another still made me think that emotions are fragile no matter how strong it seems to be. It falls when the emotional reliance goes off, esp for undeveloped mind still. We need some ways, some crazy ways to release it.

I think drastic changes overnight are scary. It gives the person no time to think if those changes are justified and are they worth it. Changes over time, i guess its better. I would like to believe that tags along more reflections and aims(the changes like to achieve) than a adrupt random change.

Losta more to say but lazy to type. hahahas.

Last of all before i go, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERICA! :] owe u a present yea!

Change for the better.

Labels: enraged

doodled at Saturday, August 11, 2007 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Saturday, August 04, 2007

PLEASE UNDERSTAND

Don't ask me so many questions.
Don't assume that I take everything really that lightly.

Sympathy is not the way to go.
I wish to sympathise in his situation but maybe in another way.

1,2,3,4...the four of you who are supposedly to be the closest to koon blames her.
Continous nagging.. questioning, alleged conclusions.

Spare a thought for ur daughter too.

DOnt push me back into the circle of agony when im more or less out of it.

understand me, my plight.

Labels: Emo.., enraged

doodled at Saturday, August 04, 2007 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments