what happens when you got so much to say but ur fingers and ur lips just wont do the talking.. ?

its weird. Just like when u're entering a place. You put one step in and just as you're really going in, you step out again.

so much like a self-confinement but it really warms the heart and opens it a lil to see someone relentlessly trying..and i did break into a smile. Still wondering what i was doing..



Angel of Mercy.

Labels: inner voices, Media

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Checked out a new place yesterday.

A resturant and bar that stands in the middle of Istana Park, vividly along the way to PS!

Garlicky Chicken, Giraffe Salad, Crumbed Mushrooms

As for food, the Giraffe salad with soft shell crab was nice. It's dressing has wasabe in it..which i love ;) It just makes the salad taste so nice...and i think it has tinges of sweetness in it too!

Jer's Garlicky Chicken was really nice as well, and i dn expect it when i look at the menu.

And lastly the buttons of mushrooms in bread crumbs w their home-made tar tar sauce!

hahas, but i think the food there are relatively expensive, matching serving with value. It's quite nice though.

Oh! and it's pretty much a place for gatherings...

During our wait for Harold and Kumar...a real 'stupid' show but i had a good laugh. Needy of this for this stressful period!

And finally we caught the LIveBAnD in action over Cathay's Ben and Jerry. hahas, yes...We just love that somewhat... LIVEBAND in action
New York Super Fudge Chunk, Cherry Glacia, Chocolate chip Cookie Dough

And i think we've tried almost all the flavours there.....hahas. Maybe not vanilla. hahas

:) A very lovely night.
It's a very weird feeling coz somehow times spent like this..on a friday night..and taking Fort Road back etc feels like im back to 7 months ago.

I know who I've got, what I've got.
awww, i love you so'

Labels: Extravagance/Fine-Dining, my love :)

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hahas. Very funny. I was studying halfway and suddenly got distracted. I was wondering exactly how many Clarin's Beauty products I actually possess..yes. damn weird I know.

Ranging from body lotions, face toners, moisturiser, eye creams, make-up remover, foundation, energising essences, mask..etc. And im still planning to get some other products soon. hahas, a gal's expenses. All these are ONLY clarins. I haven even include others from Body Shop, Chanel, etcetc.

Oh, and the scary thing is the 3 sisters are ALL supporters and members of Clarins.. That means we all each own at least 300 Bucks worth of their products each for a member.. SOunds terrible..

And esp the elder sis..she bought even more stuff...I should find one day and count how many Clarins products are there in total among the 3 of us! These expenses seem so invisible..like i cant see them.

Power and Effect Size!

Labels: Beauty

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Arghs. I dunnoe why i cant sleep well last nite.. Took a very long time to sleep and had constant awakes in the midst of sleep.Worst of all, I'm up now! at 8+.. I'm just in the midst of bring the circadian rhythm of the body to normal. Looks like it's only half-way there. hmm, simply feel sooo tired. Don't you hate the feeling of being tired yet you can't sleep? I do.

My anxiety for exams are building up...and I know that nothing is more important than that now...
_
24 Apr 08

Went mugging w Ze again yester. I had a great 7 hours of efficiency..We Had his friend joining us, which I thought..hMPHS. He doesnt look like the name implies at all.

Oh and The problem with people studying Psychology (or at least us) is that we constantly link and keep thinking who is displaying which phenomenon. hahas. And he kept using that on me. From the in-group, out-group to cognitive dissonance then Schizo.. Such idiots.

Labels: Friendship, Uni-

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22 April 08

I know what it means when someone can do better than Dance in Cheering me up, in quelling negativities. Dance usually is a very helpful activity in disconnecting me from the outside world and what happens in my mind is only whats in the studio.

But this time, during Dance practice, my mind was disconnected from dance. And consciously upsetting myself with senseless and unworthy issues.

At the end of dance, I stood at the same street.. Walking back and forth in my shades despite the darkness.. I would like to avoid stares by people when I get puffy and watery in the eyes. Was ups and downs in the mind...well but not AS bad as before dance. Dance did help a lil, afterall. But i didnt know what to do...can I act like im fine? I tried but apparently someone who somewhat understands me saw me through.

"Can I ask why?"
I seriously got stuck at that question. It may sound easy to answer..but I just cant utter anything..because I know if i steered emotions away and view things from an objective angle, technically nothing should be bothering me..

And there we were..standing at the end of the train's platform, i finally could voice out what I had in mind slowly..And im glad that he's patient enough to wait for me to talk things out between the tears. This could be the nth time that he's telling me these and I understood them, still try to be as understanding as I can...But I hope this time they will really penetrate me...coz i really know and trust what he's saying..

At the end of the day, he still never fails to make me laugh and be genuinely happy. ..

As he insists, we went for a light dinner...Somehow i think its to really ensure that im back to normal......

We passed by New York New York and dropped the plans of TCC..Time at NYNY was great, I felt like a normal person again..

Caesar Salad.

Was amazed when he told me that he feels like eating Salad...for the first time. A non-veggie lover tells me he feels like eating that..hahas. :)

I really want myself to remember this night. Really Really. Just like how the pinky promises sealed w lovely kisses continue to push me on. This night, it should be more..if not a reinforcement to whatever we had. Yes, u're right...i gotto believe that U know ur choices..and u're a man who only pursue what u're happy with..

I cant let anything else just take away what we had so easily. And I should be stronger than that.

At the end of the day, I returned home feeling really happy..like I've just fell in love again.

i can be a baby but i cant be a kid.. :p

Labels: Dine, Sweet, Uni-

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What Ah Ze shaoye said is exactly what I think as well. But he doesnt get it. Hate this...
Thought I was fine man. Apparently not so. Getting so vulnerable nowadays. I can Ze what went thru in my mind like im okae and i was. But now..sighs. Right now, I cant lie to myself anymore. I hate to see myself this way.


well, let me sidetrack to happier things in life...things and people who cheered koon UP :)
hahas, as always im damn lame when im tired. To the extent that I cant accept it as well.

Labels: Friendship, Ordeal-Erd.pty, Uni-

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YES
YES
YES
YES
YES

ARGHS

again again again again again.

hahas** i just need to shout out.


overnight studies again :)

blasting songs is a v good remedy!
feeling damn anti-social these days..
- realised that most of my entries are very 'shady' and can have different ways in interpreting it..Hidden meanings alot. Esp the THOUGHTS entries...all of em, my feelings deeply embedded. Unless you're the person involved or in the known, you probably wun know what the hell im writting. So the point is, if u dun understand, dun ask me bout it. If you're supposed to know, u should be able to understand, at least part of it. And, dont make alleged guesses. hahas

Labels: Ordeal-Erd.pty

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Phew. So glad that Jerica asked me out to mug now!

Something to anchor my hands,eyes and mind. hahas. and stop looking at the same thing over and over again............

yayys! Midnight; overnight mugging!..
mum and dad said im mad....why not mug at home.
hahas. well..efficiency and focus is at stake.!

gambattes folks. join me join me!

__________________________________________________
Back! - *claps!* We did it! ..studied ALL THE WAY till 7am!

gambattes candies fr Jerica

Really sweet. Made me a happy gal again! Thanks:)

focus focus focus

Labels: Ordeal-Erd.pty

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aww, what's with that phrase?

2:06 PM

Labels: inner voices, Myself, Ordeal-Erd.pty

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It's never easy making a decision when emotions, reality, practicality and all other kinds of factors entangled together. The fact that Í cant see each of them as clearly as i wished to blurred the parameters of decisions. But how should the perimeters be framed on?

A Question to be answered over the rest of the journey of my life i guess.

Is it a time to step out of my own world of self-delusive kind of decision making process? Then again, how sure am I that those are self-delusive? Is a time to open up and even subsitute some of these parameters? How can I even stop my emotions and irrationality from posessing me over rationality, maturity and impulsiveness? And when will I really stop myself from deciding on things that I don't really want?



and when the pride builds up..

Labels: Ordeal-Erd.pty, Reflections

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11 April 2008.

Not only this is my first time to Dempsey Hill, it was also my first time to a Korean Charcoal BBQ place. Well, I wun take Seoul Garden into consideration. hahas. My mind, of coz, was filled with curiosity with what they have to offer!

The most memorable part of the dinner, besides the food, should come from 'Teaching How to Use a pair of Chopsticks correctly'. At least one of the very few times that I get to teach this man something. But the correct way of holding and ease of moving the chopstick with the middle finger just cant get across that easily. Perharps im a lousy teacher. hahas. But things like this have become such a natural thing to me that I din really realise the mechanism of the whole process - from lifting them up and using them. But as usual, his mind turned so agile when he picked up the pieces of Tofu by letting it lie down on the chopsticks. And, I havent thought of that...leaving me really speechless.

Went to the Ben & Jerry (yes, again) which many people told me that it is a really nice place for chilling out. So yes, we went over after dinner, a very short drive over. Yayys.

The crowd was amazing over there, with semi-long queues at the counters making the staffs of Ben & Jerry seemingly breathless. The decor of the place was v Euro like with a 'fireplace' at where the live band is supposed to be. And just near the toilet area, the place is designed looking run-down with faded paints and tapes around the walls.

Just got all kinds of weird ideas to incorporate the artsy red lamp into my pictures. I was hoping that I cant climb on a chair and take a pic from top featuring the lamp! hahas.

Reality of Phantom

2:04 AM

______________________________
***Samgyeobsal: Pork Belly
** Daji Yangyeom Galbi: Marinated Pork Rib
* Hobak Bulgogi: Broiled Beef in Pumpkin
____________________________________

Labels: Anniversary, ecstatic, Extravagance/Fine-Dining, Indelible memories, my love :), Sweet

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Im so glad that I've made the decision to part with the few hundred bucks just months ago. It's really more than worth it! This is about the seventh month of lessons. Each lesson and practice never fail to bring me away from reality. It drops me inside this beautiful world of music and movements with each of the beautiful lady in the class. All in the mind are music, waves and beats. The body moves. The mind counts.

Here we are at the Intermediate level of Reggae, the difficulty level jumps up again. At the Beginner(1) level, we learnt movements that emphasised on force, movements which do not requires multiple coordination of different body parts. At the Beginner(2) level, the dance moves slightly away from the hard body movements and towards the feminine and sexy moves. And just towards the end of that level, we learnt a relatively explosive wild dance.

In the first lesson for Intermediate, we were taught movements that move freely (to seem as though there were no hard body movements, to look as if u were lazy, yet not so) and revealed to that things gonna change in the level. eg. Waves wouldnt be the normal body width from the upper body but from the abdominal. oh gosh, sounds amazing!

Arghs. but i cant catch the FEEL during practice just now~ But had great fun with the gals just now.. dance is one of those times that nobody cares about image, nobody is shy. We just go all way out to dance and enjoy ourselves. :)

And after practice, met Dear for dinner. Thanks sweetie for waiting, you could have went home and rest or sth. :) Over the months, meeting along Red Dot has become one sweet memory that I still haven quite bear to depart w. One of those coincidences in life. Who would have thought that my dance school is just around the same area as his office.

Dinner was at The Soup Spoon over at Raffles City. Gave Shokudo a miss since we were both not v hungry.

Chocolate Therapy, Strawberry Kiwi Sorbet, Coffee Coffee Buzzbuzz

Managed to get a sofa seat at one corner. Well,not exactly very corner too. LOL. But a very comfty seat that made me wanna lie there on his shoulders for a lot longer..but was getting late...So, we still got to go off being i get over-reliant on sendin and fetching..

Oh yea, glad that my mind is off the bouncing thoughts now!! Dun wan my words on my notes and readings to start bouncing at me too later. hahaas. very funny bouncing 'talk' and ideas.

It's so strong and now I let myself be Sincere.

1:17 AM

Labels: Dance, Dine, happy food., my love :)

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Something seems amiss this semester.

I've been feeling relatively free ever since mid-terms and it's not coz im slacking but it's coz i've finished studying what I need to study. (or am I studying too little?) And exams will be here in like 3 weeks time...seriously wonder if im on the right track?! Why am I able to study at a relatively comfortable pace without the need of rushing through like last semester? Weird thing is ..this sem, I played more and spent more time w cheeky! * weird!

On a side note, got back my 3 sociology essays today! All of them were at least 2 grades up my own expectations. Hahas. So happy and proud of myself =x. Little little things that boost my confidence!

I've been real piggy these weeks/months. Sleeping an average of AT LEAST 7hrs everyday. Gotto push myself to kick this habit and cap it at a MAX of 6 hrs! *Beginning of mugging times...
_________

Dropped by vivo today and bought something really lovely. (I think it is*) Something that I've been wanting to get for a long long time. But it's either the wrong time, can't bear to or nothing is nice enough. And I finally saw something that at least passed my desirability meter, then the 'I like' meter and finally rated as *lovely and cool at the same time! Oh, how can that be!? *happy!



This innocence is brillant. I hope it will stay.

Labels: Uni-

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These days, recalling happy memories is accompanied with tinges of sadness and sourness. A weird kind of combination. I have been questioning myself 'why am I feeling this way?". Feelings that aren't suppose to overlap each other yet continue to prove myself wrong. Perharps it's an expecting of uncertainties matched w a lack of confidence in my abilities to handle situations and thus making decisions.

And its only recently that I realised that too little of those day-to-day memories are recorded. For sure, special celebatory moments are recorded in this little space. Yet I seemed to have neglected a little of those sweet everyday moments. When I recall them, they too formed an important piece of that circle we're in. Despite being the most frequent compared to each of the celebratory moments, they were never enough nor too ordinary. And I wanna lock as much of them in my memory as possible.



It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
-Yes. I have a choice

Labels: my love :), Reflections

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I cant really remember when I acquired this pretty weird habit. The habit of observing ladies' necks when I come across any of them, anywhere. While I used to take note of hair, dressing styles and of course body shapes of pretty gals, I cant helped it but to look out for a beautiful neck. And these days or months, it has became one of the first thing that I get well, "attracted" to.

Those sags, lines or ugly wrinkles are hardly take note by people. In terms of skin care, i believe many of us focused on face and hands, probably legs as well. Those areas give our age off almost immediately. But I think neck is equally important! How weird it is when i see ladies with beautiful facial skin but a very dull-looking neck skin. The weirdest thing of all is that I see ladies as young as lower secondary sch developing those really ugly lines...which i really hate and fear.

And conclusion so far, one with a nicely even-toned out neck, also without pigmentation looks tons younger and fresher.... and its very hard to find beautiful neck skin around if you observe as constantly as me, you'll know. LOL*

Ive been wondering about what exactly causes them since i've seen both plump and very very skinny woman having them. So went to read bout it.. as usual there's more than one such causes, just goes to show the vulnerability of the skin.

5 basic causes ive found..
1. Fat losses
2. Poor skin care
3. Unprotected exposure to the sun.
4. Genetics
5. Sleeping wrinkles

arghs, so dont forget ur necks! If the problem is aldy there...(think its quite normal too since i see alot of ppl having those problems)...well,salvage as much as u can.. just do a search online to find ways to stop these problems.. :)


taking care of my neck. =x

Labels: Beauty

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