Complexity in Simplicity

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

SLOW, LATE THOUGHTS

Late nights again.. and i cant sleep ;(... seems to be heavy on tots again. Amongst all the other shit things i've to do.

Why is it that its always during late night when everything is motionless and resting that thoughts run especially far and ..wild?

Goey was right..as we age, we tend to think 'bout things that we don't in the past. Things which seems to be unnecessary yet expedient. Somehow it adds meaning to our life more than ever.

The phrase this sista gave me "have u ever lost someone u love n wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time u thought they wld be here forever? If so, then u know u can go ur whole life collecting days, n none will outweigh the one u wish u had back" a few weeks ago..i bear it in mind.

People I talked to, I met, I observed crossed my mind.

Yet sometimes and mostly recently the line between friends and acquaintances became clearer than the past. Few can really cross the line of being an acquaintance. As it is, as much as you think you are friends, its discouraging to find that..actually you were just accquaintances. Discouraging because its upsetting that its an social illusion again ;( Seems like i had quite enough of such illusory friendships. People behave too differently in different settings. People interact for self-benefits.

I asked myself, is there a need to make such a distinction? My answer? Yes, I need to. I would rather use words like coursemates for the sake of sounding better. If i need to take extra efforts to remember a person's name and don't communicate beyond school's crap, dont understand each other or even merely remember the most superficial appearance..i don't see why he/she is a friend to be.

Maybe its an emotional barrier to step across and to bare your hearts and stories to someone. The conflict is then how sure am i that this is not another acquaintance who would take your story away with no value. Thats why old friends and good friends have elevated themselves in my importance list. I dun wanna lost any..any......it take years of foundation.

With them, i can be so sure that I'll still be so connected even if we don't speak for months. I guesss thats the different between true, good friends and acquaintances. It must be.

An invisible rope?

4:15 am

Labels: Friendship, inner voices

doodled at Wednesday, February 27, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Sunday, February 24, 2008

UNORGANISED LOADS OF WORDS

As we are drawn closer to the deadlines, we fell deeper.
Closer to the deadlines, the deadlines got further away from us.

Yes, months ago we were talking about deadlines optimistically. From a one month fling to a longer official 6 months before we thought, maybe..maybe it's a year. All these deadlines discussed werent in the fear of an end, a loss or hurtful moments. We were and are the advocates for "enjoying the moments'.

I dipped in with half the mind of seeking fun and romance and half in wariness.
Now, im swimming in the deep oceans soaked in deep love and experiencing the surprises of corals and creatures i've met. So comfortable with sea creatures friends i have made that im in reluctance mode to return to land. Every creature is a moment to remember. ..

The dating times when my life was in a huge huge mess. When I could find nobody to confide in, be it be nobody or my own unwillingness. I seek a little reason for me to continue smiling. Simple messages strengthened my soul bit by bit.

Despite being incredibly dumb, im glad. Glad that at least it could make you smile. Glad that maybe, hopefully it rids off the stress from ur hustle and bustle of work and life.

The relieve sounds that we gave out together upon my completion of each star. Seems like nothing much but its like a candy to me. Real Sweet. A signal of unity and joy at that instant.

Tight hugs to keep me warm. Covering me with blankets. Little pats on my head, chin. Times that you dun wanna me to face the wall. Laughed at me rolling, stretching on the bed.....

Those intellectual look with a lil of unkempted hair, yet still trying to maintain a style in it...

The introspection moments that forced me to give ya an answer no matter what with appropriate cue questions most of the times...

The driving guy who's no doubt in the focus mode and yet still singing away signalling happiness.

Cheeky tone, expression, words, actions.

Every celebratory moments that were marked w ways to pamper me and then having to live a much frugal life after that. To cheekily say that its another emotional blackmail and shut me up w my dumb look...

To give me hugs when u realised i might tear..

To cheekily comment on physical attributes.

To fulfil my long lost fairytale dreams during my birthday..

everything
so much more.......................................................................

i feel so bloated with words yet i cant look for the right content nor words to say everything that's sitting in my mind, unorganised.

the moments.the moments. the moments.
im glad i was curious then

6:20 PM

Labels: my love :), Sweet, Time Machine

doodled at Sunday, February 24, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Thursday, February 21, 2008

UNFAMILIARITIES IN FAMILIARITIES

UNFAMILIARITIES IN FAMILIARITIES

Its how weird that how things, people and places that we are familiar with in our everyday lives can become something distanced. Finding a tinge of unfamiliarity in a setting you are familiar with is damn weird. And often, i think its saddening if you think bout it.

In that house, you know exactly where's the kitchen, toilets, which room is whose.
In that room, you know exactly where to get what you want, and have the autonomy to perharps use whatever you want without the need of asking like what other outsiders need to.
On that road, you walked feeling full of control, not having the fear of heading towards the wrong direction.
And the sense of familiarities is sometimes reinforced when you become part of a host and start answering ppl's qns,of 'where', 'how', 'what, 'who', ''can i" ?

It then occured to me that no matter how familiarised you are w something, it can easily be part of the past. A part and parcel of life i guess. But its always awful to find that someone else is in better control and more aware than you whats going on.

The worst thing is you are still familiar w the same old stuff yet you become unfamiliar because you've lost the old rights to show that u're familiar w it. Familiarity then can only reside in the pathetic mental self. With people implicitly flaunting their familiarities with the place and control. ...I think i hate these situations.

and who knows...before I know it, its another familiarity to be unfamiliarised. Another heart and place to be distanced with. To embrace and say, i was familiar w this BEFORE.
*hahas.

its just past,present,future

2:38 AM

Labels: inner voices, Past Relationship

doodled at Thursday, February 21, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Friday, February 15, 2008

VALENTINE's DAY AT MORTON's - 14 Feb o8

This place..this place was really crowded with couples mainly of caucasians even at 930pm. A place serving the best steaks, i supposed so. American -based setting with friendly and funny service staff.. Yuppz, the Morton's at the Mandarin Oriental. My first time there despite a few recalls of the lobby some time ago. hahas.

I'm always damn stunned when I look at the menus of these places. That puts me in a position of dunnoe-what-to-order.

and perharps it is right..''the best STEAK anywhere!"..to be revealed when the food is served!

Oh, and I really think that the way they introduced the menu was special. Pushing a trolley to our tables and introducing what they serves with REAL pieces of beef, salmon, veg, etc before they present us the written menu. So they have verbal and visual kind of menu!

A lovely pic taken by a funny waiter who insisted that he wants to take the photo in certain ways, which is different from the normal waiter that obeys the guests accordingly.

me.

The huge bread was served to us. hahas...it has a yummy, lightly-fragrant layer of crust ;]

The appeitiser was Broiled Sea Scallops wrapped in Bacon w Apricot Sauce. Mixing the huge scallop with the fresh bacon and Apricot Sauce brings different layers of taste to the dish! Unpeel its taste layer by layers. ;]

The best dish came of coz, after the appeitiser! Despite being a non-beef eater, I have to have to say that that Porterhouse Steak is damn nice, especially so for the perfectly grilled parts. And that indicates...yes...i ate some of it. =x

And the Broiled Salmon in..hmm some sauce was not too bad too! Think the sauce went quite well w the salmon and it was finely grilled too!

But both the main courses were of a bit of a too large serving.

Squeezing the lemon! ;]

ANother super nice dessert!

Unlike our usual TCC's dark devotion which was already so nice, this is much much much better, way way above. The way the chocolate oozes out generously and the crispiness of the choc cake werent the usual kind...wow! Oh, and its served w haagen daz's vanilla ice-cream. (the king of diar.lolx)

Couple pic outside the bar

I do think that the waiters are damn funny..."Posing more poses than the ones taking the pic"

vampire

hmm?

Still think that v-day and anniversary falls abit on a wrong day this month when this guy is so busy and prob kinda stressed over work. Thanks for squeezing out the time for me yupps! But seriously, hahas, club wasnt and isnt above ____.

But yea, over the years, i sorta come to understand that V-day is not about gifts and DEFINITELY not flowers. hahas..think flowers is abit too old-fashioned...its like going for matchmaking. I cant helped laughing when i saw ppl carrying that esp the handheld kinds.

It's about being in love, being loved, enjoying the company of each other and knowing that someone is there for you whether you meet or not.

sweethearts
__________________________________________________________________

PHUTURE - 13 FEB 08

Hit Phuture with Jerica on Wed. My first time there.

Ladies in the mirror

In the ''starry-like' ladies

P-Phuture

Phuture was really fun! The dancers so much more vibrant, so many more better dancers. But what I observed is the proportion of guys to gals seems abit overwhelming uneven.

Immediately i sensed the difference when we were surrounded by a group of guys when we hit the dance floor. As if telling us, "no mercy" hahas.

Somehow or rather, I had guys telling me im underaged. Sth which i cannot understand why..

Our Apple Shooters

I think something is quite wrong with me. I dunnoe why when i was dancing,when i was observing others.. i kept thinking bout other hmm..solemn stuff.

Candy - one of the new friend

The process of socialisation came to my mind. Questions pop in my mind, which is damn damn weird!

Is socialisation based on the merit of chemistry, appearances, dancing or simply lust? Of coz, i know that im asking a stupid question in a place like club. But I just got that gut feel that some ppl just take on any people that approach them. Some people just got to show their worth by showing that they have the ability to attract and even to the extent of french kissing. omg* Yet i think that by trying to prove their worth, they become worthless.

And i just wonder why doesnt some gals love themselves more. To be held by the waist and dance and before you know it, his hands are on somewhere else and ur lips are on his. Isnt kisses supposed to be passionate, a connection between 2 souls? hahas, and the funny thing is someone can use hands gestures signalling us to go away when they kisses. It's just...amazing.

Are people trying to act decent when they are outside and then come to the stage of being wild and start doing what they normally dun do out of a club. .?

okae,i dunnoe but thats how club is, i think. hahas

degraded

1:09 AM

Labels: Anniversary, Club, ecstatic, Extravagance/Fine-Dining, Indelible memories, my love :), Reflections, Surreal, Sweet

doodled at Friday, February 15, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Sunday, February 10, 2008

CNY 'o8

CNY 'o8

Despite being a 15-day festival, to me i think it has already ended! No more official CNY activities...everything is back to order, back to sch, back to work!

The art of eye-shadows!

I love playing around with the blending and mixing of eyeshadows. Generally prefer the dark colours-brown, grey, dark blue,etc. And i'm proud to present all works of mine on CNY day 1. Somehow i became the makeup artiste on that day. Sad to say the lighting or rather the camera has failed to capture the true intensity of the colour. :(

anyway,

myself - glittery purple mixed w smokey black tied

lyin- simply smokey black tied

mum- light green w brown

peijin- light green w brown

New year clothes!

Pretty sis who dresses like she's gonna club. But well, she's underaged! Come to think bout it,it has been a long time since ive talked to her when we used to be rather close. It really makes a diff when two siblings share a room. It sorta creates opportunity for you to interact.

Myself - bus-stop~

Parents and us

Some shots when we reached grandma's place. As usual the place was 'WELL'-drowned in the noise of kids who's yelling over the top of the voices,creating commotions out of nowhere which i hated it so much. hahas. Everyone seems to to be grown-ups or should i say, really growing up. One by one, the news of people getting attached spread across the family. And i wonder, when will anyone in the family gets married. And receiving the news of your frens or family getting married feels like another phase of life.

Cousins - koon, Xinyi in JC1, Weiting in sec 2, Eileen in JC1

Lost the connections with them. Lost the bond as cousins. Faked a photo. lolx.

happy cny my dear!

Ended off the CNY night by visiting my dear and happened to see my cousin's boyfriend too.

Its a v much quieter CNY this year unlike last year when i still followed wayne around to Aloysius's and his dad's and mum's place. Slacker CNY this year and probably better rest. And work is gonna start.

It's time to clear those accumulated/ing readings and weekly tutorials and fornight essays.

Too much stuff to do!!

from oranges to hearts. Red to Pink.

5:14 PM

Labels: Family, festive, my love :)

doodled at Sunday, February 10, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

CHINESE NEW YEAR '08

CHINESE NEW YEAR '08

yayys! Chinese New Year Eve and in approx 30 mins time,Chinese New Year is officially here!

Haven had dinner w my family on the same table for a long long time! We always eat separately it seems, at different time too.

Still love the kind of festive mood that CNY brings along! When the whole house gets brightened up and the hall is playing the CNY countdown programme(which i don watch since the age of like...hmm cant remember) And my parents would be there laying the goodies and fruits on the table preparing to offer to the gods.

Unlike in the past where we used to run along the corridors while Dad pray..nowadays, the three of us each occupy a space of ourselves doing our own playing, msn-ing,etc. I would say..as you grow up..the festive mood gets lesser and lesser. Nevetheless,CNY is still one of my favourite festival. Miss the days when I tagged along with mum to buy new year goodies.For the joy lies in the being able to choose like a lil kid!

A slacker cny relative to last year..
happy cny!

havefun!

1130pm

Labels: Family, Time Machine

doodled at Wednesday, February 06, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Monday, February 04, 2008

BEING PAMPERED ;p - 2 Feb 08

BEING PAMPERED ;p - 2 Feb 08

With the Sweet Tooth of my dear kicking in again.. After weeks and weeks of missing desserts, we decided to head down to Siglap for some Choc Fondue. I had my first fondue at Haagen Daz and he told me that to start my Fondue treats at Haagen Dazs is like a no-no coz then I would think that other Fondues aint good.

A small Haagen Dazs that sits at the corner of the shophouses. Looked thru the menu though our mind had already settled for the enticing Fondue.

Served with fruits, Haagen Dazs ice-cream, cookies and cheesecakes (hmphs, bread)!

And yes this sweetheart was right, the Strawberry ice-cream went really went with the melted choc. And look at how the warm choc layer hardens up as the ice-cream twined itself in it!

Indulging with good company!

Oh but this Fondue certainly make us look like dirty gluttons, cute lil kids. wahahas! Leaving traces of the dark choc on the corners of our lips. hees. Too bad, both failed to capture any of the unglam pics. hahas. The thing is, when couples laugh at each other..it's not irritating. It's sweet, fun and happy! hahas, still feel like laughing...

Coupley Twines.-The art of twining.

Even Roll-ons

As usual, this man outwin me in anything. hahas. Even a simple thing of rolling the nuts on .. =( LOLS

>.<

Gone the ice-cream!;]

Love weekends! hahas, always relaxing. Okaes, at least for now when im not frantic bout readings and/or mugging yet. hahas. Simple Sat, simple dates, simple look, simple company (in some sense). Feel so pampered. hahas!

yayys!

Off to bed folks! Good nites!

Because circles never end

12:27 AM

Labels: ecstatic, Extravagance/Fine-Dining, happy food., Indelible memories, my love :), Sweet

doodled at Monday, February 04, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments

Friday, February 01, 2008

PIECES OF PUZZLE

PIECES OF PUZZLE

Ever wished that you were part of the story in his/her past. Wished that you were there to witness the whole process, the emotions involved, to see for yourself how things were like back then. Then only you can understand the whole story thoroughly and hopefully be a better company of ur loved ones.

No matter how many times you have heard the story, you never felt it's complete. You know, there's lotsa loopholes here and there. Of course one can argue..you don't have to know everything but it's just the curiosity mind at work.

Small little puzzles constitute to the whole of one's life, thats the whole picture, the completed puzzle. And in each puzzle, different elaborate images are printed on it. And in fact, each of this puzzle is unique. Regardless is the little stars, with dazzles or without, different shading of the sky, different parts of the main character in the puzzle and so on. It's these small little pieces, all different come together to form one big picture.

I can never be in every piece of your puzzle, anyone else's puzzle. Yet I do still hope that ther's traces of that star in every puzzle. Its stupid, i know! *hahas.

As I was saying, simply listening to the story(ies) make one feel that its never complete. You can listen to it once, twice,ten times yet it wun flow as nicely. Esp so when someone recounts his past to u. They minus away the forgotten, the unnecessary, the avoided, the maybe not...whats left is bits of story with gapS. And when these are revealed to you in other ways, coupled with visual aids, sweet language (be it body,sign or words), they hit you like its the present not the past. of coz, only for that like split second moment or...slightly longer.

would you wanna know or would you rather be ignorant bout it?

2:32 PM

Labels: Emo.., inner voices, Sour

doodled at Friday, February 01, 2008 by koon | Doodlelink | 0 Comments